Minnesota

Minnesota, despite my affinity for twins, came during a brief stretch where I was a little under the weather. I think that this may have resulted from the decrepit living conditions which I had spent the past week and 24 hours specifically. After the Brewers day game previously, I fell asleep in the car waiting for traffic to die down, and pretty much stayed in the same exact position for the following 19 hours between that night and driving up to Minnesota the following morning. This made my experience in the city as simple as coffee, NBA finals, getting tossed from a Holiday Inn parking lot by the police, and the Baseball game.
The game was fairly blah as well. The two dogs, nachos and Coke didn’t help my poor feeling, and the fact that the Nationals are The Nationals made the game sparsely attended. What I will give the Twins is that The Baggie, as the Metrodome is called, is really really loud. I can’t imagine what it must be like for a football game. I wish I had a fan of the game, but for the life of me there simply wasn’t anything happening. On top of that my cheap seat was sequestered in the upper deck with no way to peruse the concourses, so I was locked down my the man.
I leave you with this bit of advice for those of you traveling to Minnesota. Never ever ever talk bad about Kirby Puckett. The man is nearly sainted in the twin cities. St. Paul is changing its name to St. Puckett. I asked if Kirby was dead a little too bluntly and was nearly castrated on the spot, but managed to kick her cane out from under her. The same could be said for twins catcher Joe Mauer, whose return from the DL at that night’s game invoked hordes of prepubescent girls shrieking at decibel levels so high that only dogs and Superman could hear them. I don’t know what about Joe Mauer made every act this way, but I think if you were to make a list of Minnesota couple’s “cheat celebrity” that the wives get a pass to sleep with given the opportunity, he would be at the top of most lists. There’s a strong chance Kirby puckett would be at the top of a lot of the husbands list.