F.S. Players: Berger and D

My two part stay in Los Angeles was hosted by the incomparable Berger and D. I've not used anyone's full name simply as polite online etiquette, but for these two, there may be legitimate concerns with associating with either of them. They are the type of people who, at age 27 or so, are continuing to make stories each weekend instead of sitting around with friends retelling old stories. Granted few, if any, of these stories are retellable in mixed company or in any sort of detail on this site, but let's delve as deep as my shuddering memory will allow me.

• My first meeting of Berger is him pulling up in Redondo Beach in a brand new 2007 Tahoe, taking me into a bar and drinking and telling stories like old friends. Conversations were only briefly punctuated by both our silence when the waitress would strut by. Berger has, by all good measure, had "relations" with her by now.


• D and Berger's drink of choice is Bacardi rum. During my stay there of almost a week and half, interrupted by five days, they put down three bottles of Bacardi. Berger was gone for almost half of those days. Good Job D.


• http://www.urbancougar.com/. This wasn't advice from either of the two. This was homework for me to be able to understand half the talk in most of the stories being bandied about.


• Speaking of the stories told, I'd prefer not to go into detail about the "christening" of the couch I slept on. Or the subsequent hundreds of re-christenings D performed during his six month tenure as The Guy on the Couch before actually moving in.


• Craigslist.com's Casual Encounters. This was Berger's advice, and I'm still amazed at, well. I'm amazed. I'm also terrified.


• My lasting impression of Berger: Him getting beat at NCAA football as SC by none other than The University of Georgia Bulldogs.


• My last impression of D: Walking around buck naked cupping his manhood. He says he looks like a bigger (Jeff Francoeur, the guy from Transporter, pretty much every celebrity that showed up on T.V.) I say he looks like a hairy, white, rated R Shrek.
  

You guys asked, and you receive. For the most fun, providing Angels Tickets, and continuing to perform at the level of a minor league farm system party animal, you are jointly awarded the F.S. Most Valuable Players, until by some unimaginable feat you are usurped. I don't believe anything short of outright felony and arrest would do it though, so congratulations.